How my child learns language

Infants are born with the ability to learn language. Young children use the words they hear around them as building blocks that help them develop language skills, and they start learning language from the moment they are born.

What language should I speak with my child?

It really is not that important what language you speak with your child. What matters is how much you speak with your child.

• If your family is speaks more than one language, you must choose which of these you want be your child's mother tongue.

• You should pick the language that you speak most fluently and naturally, and that you would rather communicate with your child in – you should always give your child your best.

• When you have picked the language that you want to be your child's mother tongue, you should stick with it. Don't try to give your child a new mother tongue every six months. The choice of a mother tongue for your child is thus an important and permanent one.

Many polyglot families feel that society pressures them to teach their children Danish. It is important that children living in Denmark learn to speak Danish. But only pick Danish for your child's mother tongue if you yourselves speak it at a very high level.

I have met mothers who spoke Danish with their children, even though their own Danish was limited and plagued by faulty grammar, and they spoke with a heavy accent. These mothers did not speak very much with their children because it was both inconvenient and forced for them to speak Danish. Such a situation is terrible for your child's development of language skills.

Can my child have two mother tongues?

If the mother and father speaks two different languages with their child, that child will have two mother tongues. Again, it is important that you stick with the choices you have made, at least while your child is still young. Language is important to young children's overall feeling of security and safety, and a child will feel unsafe and insecure if its mother switches between languages when addressing it. If the mother consistently uses her own mother tongue, and the father his, when addressing the child, the child will feel safe and secure, and end up with two mother tongues.

• Children who have two mother tongues are often learn how to speak a bit later than children with only one mother tongue, ,as they have a lot more to learn.

In my family, we mix and match languages when we speak – how will this affect my child?

When polyglots, who have all their languages in common, speak among themselves, it is natural to mix and match languages as you go along.

Remember, however, that your young child does not speak multiple languages, but is only learning his/her first language – the mother tongue. When you speak a mix of languages with your child, he/she doesn't know that the words are actually a compound of two languages. I therefore recommend that you do not mix and match languages when you speak with your young child.

How can I help my child learn his/her mother tongue

Speak with your child right from the time of birth. Look at your child when talking with him/her. You should try to pick up on your child's signals, both articulated and otherwise. In this way, you will be able to communicate with your child from a very young age.

With time, your child will express an interest in talking about certain topics that are of particular interest to him/her. The child may bring you an object and say “look”. In these situations, it is very important that you take the time to react to what the child is saying and showing you, as it is in exactly these circumstances that your child best learns to master language.

In addition, you yourself have to show things to your child, and explain about them.

Babbling with your infant is fine, but as the child grows older, you should refrain from baby talk. However, don't go over the top and speak an entirely adult language with lots of difficult words and long sentences. Try to adapt your language to your child's age – it's not as hard as it sounds, and most of us do it naturally anyway.

How can I help my child MASTER his/her mother tongue?

Some children have but a cursory command of their mother tongue. Others develop a full command of theirs. Gauging the level to which a child commands his/her mother tongue can be difficult in everyday conversation. But if you take two five- or six-year-olds with varying language skills to several different locations – such as the beach, the woods, the zoo – you will quickly detect the difference in capability of expression.

The child who has only a cursory command of his/her mother tongue will struggle to express him-/herself regarding the various locations, while the child who is in full command of language will be able to carry on conversations about the objects and experiences encountered. While the child who is in full command of language may not know the exact word for everything he/she sees, s/he will enquire about correct wordage far more often than the child with only a cursory knowledge of language.

If you want to help your child master his/her mother tongue, you should slowly “expand the horizons”, all the while taking the time to talk with your child about what you see and experience together in this ever growing world.

For the first couple of years in a child's life, even your home is a large new world. Talk with your child about all the objects in your home and everything you do there together. When you bake, clean, or sit down for a meal. As your child grows older, he/she will have incorporated much of the language relating to home activities. If the child is to continue development of the mother tongue on the way to mastery, it has to experience the world outside the home as well – bring your child to the woods, the playground, around town, to the beach, the zoo, the circus etc., and remember to talk about everything you see and experience. Keep in mind that to talk with your child also means listening to your child – a conversation is both speaking and listening.

Books and toys are also important to your child's development of language. You can start giving books to your child from about 18 months of age. Best of all would be if you yourself make the child its first book using, for instance, photographs of the entire family, your car, your child's favourite teddy bear etc. If you don't have photos, you can use cut-outs from magazines and commercials – for instance a banana if your child likes bananas, a doll, a car etc. - to make the book. Look through the book with your child and explain the words for the things in there, and listen to your child when he/she names the objects in the book. Furthermore, it is important to buy or borrow little books for your child to look at and read.

When your child starts watching television, make sure you don't fall back on the TV-set as a sort of nanny that can help teach your child learn to use language. Young children may learn language from the television, but only if you are involved as well, watching along with the child and talking about what you both see.

When can my child start learning Danish as a second language?

Children will begin to acquire a second language if and when they hear it, and feel the need to be able to express themselves in it.

Many polyglot children will begin learning Danish when they start being dropped of at day care facilities because their mother has ended her maternity leave and has to go back to work.

Learning a second language won't jeopardize the linguistic development of your child, but it may delay natural development of the mother tongue, because the child has to focus energy and attention on learning the new language. Don't let this throw you off, but continue to use the child's mother tongue, both at home and when dropping the child off or picking him/her up at day care facilities. You can be a positive role model for your child, if it hears you use the second language (Danish) when communicating with day care employees.

Inform the Danish employees of developments in your child's mother tongue, just as they should inform you of developments in the second language.

What do I do if I think my child has trouble learning the mother tongue?

Pay attention to your child's hearing. Hearing well is essential when learning language. During certain stages of their development, some children might have reduce hearing capabilities, even if they don't have earache or pains. See a doctor if you suspect that your child has below-average hearing capabilities.

Some children have a particularly difficult time learning language. In these cases, it is important to get help at an early stage. If you are worried that your child may not be learning to use language as quickly, or as well, as other children, seek professional assistance. Start by inquiring with your child's health visitor – if she too has doubts about your child's linguistic development, she can help put you in touch with a speech therapist. The speech therapist is a language specialist, and can initiate a thorough examination of your child's language capabilities. If your child does not yet speak Danish, or speaks it only on a rudimentary level, the examination will be conducted in the child's mother tongue. The speech therapist can help you and your child by offering specialized learning opportunities if your child has extraordinary linguistic difficulties.

Article written by language counsellor Jette Løntoft.
Translated from the original Danish.